


Fluffy Crime

by Roosterteethlover



Series: Fluffy moments [18]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Clover and Qrow are crime buddies now, Fluff, Kinda, Nonsense abound!, Oscars a bean, This is really more of a crack fic, sorry I don't make the rules - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:00:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23735014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roosterteethlover/pseuds/Roosterteethlover
Summary: What has Qrow done now? And how is James going to react? Find out this time on Fluffy Moments!
Series: Fluffy moments [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1564159
Comments: 13
Kudos: 39





	Fluffy Crime

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sietra2907](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sietra2907/gifts).



> Hello! So this was entirely based on a conversation I had with Sietra2907 on the fic Fluffy Talks. It's probably best to read that one before you read this one but honestly I don't think you need to. This ones just really silly and makes very little sense. Enjoy!

Qrow couldn’t help but chuckle as he looked at the picture on his scroll, it was an image of James and Oscar from when they had fallen asleep the other night. James's face was one of serenity so unlike his usual tight anxiety expression, and Oscars was just as calm and seemed even more cherubic than usual. He had debated sending it for a bit, but finally decided to show it to Clover and Winter. He trusted the two to not share it with anyone that Ironwood wouldn’t approve of. That had been yesterday, and today he had been called to an “emergency meeting” with James.

The avian man swaggered into James’s office, a cocky grin on his face and a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. He knew why James called him here, and he was ready for it. Winter,   
Oscar, and Clover were already there waiting for him with the General

“Qrow, do you know why I called you here?” James said his tone was serious.

Qrow chuckled, “Is it because of the adorable picture I got of you and our resident farm boy?”

A tired sigh from James gave all the answer Qrow needed.

Winter spoke up from her place at the Generals side, “Qrow, if this image were to get out it could undermine a great deal of the Generals authority. We cannot have that right now.”

“All due respect ma’am,” Clover piped up looking directly at Winter “I don’t think it’s as big of a deal as that. It’s just a picture of the General asleep. It’s actually kinda cute, embarrassing I guess were anyone else to see it, but overall harmless.”

“Harmless?” Winter asked incredulously, “I can’t believe you could say that! Were our enemies to get a hold of this image it would drive home a message of weakness and vulnerability! They would think “The great General Ironwood, unable to cope with the stress, has to resort to falling asleep with a child.” It could lead to chaos! Or at the very least rumors of the Generals night time habits that we certainly don’t want.”

“Ya know,” Qrow smirked, tapping his chin in mock contemplation, “I hadn’t even thought of that but you have a point. I could totally use this as blackmail material. Maybe I could send it to Jauques or Robyn.”

“You wouldn’t.” Ironwood sputtered looking almost betrayed.

Oscar's face turned red and he whispered, “Please don’t.”

Clover covered his mouth clearly trying to muffle his giggles, “I know that I should be against that, but you did force me to come in on my day off sir. Sooo LET’S DO IT!”

Oscar groaned and buried his face in his hands, “Kill me now.”

“Heck yeah Clover!” Qrow cheered, pulling the Ace Op to his side.

Ironwood stared at the two, shock painted his face, “Clover...you crossed to the dark side?”

“You should join us Jimmy, it’s fun on the dark side.” Qrow giggled.

Clover chimed in with a “Yeah, we have Ice cream!”

“Please don’t show the picture to Ruby and the others!” Oscar blurted out his face a bright shade of red, “They would never let me live this down!”

Qrow laughed, “I make no promises kid.”

Oscar whimpered a bit, “Please I’ll do anything!”

“Oscar don’t!” Ironwood pleaded.

Clover and Qrow looked at each other and grinned, “Anything?” they said in unison.

“Anything!”

“Well seems we have a little farm boy at our disposal, whatever shall we do with him?” Clover smirked, bumping Qrows shoulder.

Winter, now broken out of her shock at the event unfolding before her, “I’m leaving. I can barely handle Qrow on his own much less with Clover.”

“Take me with you.” Ironwood wearily begged.

“Aww come on Winter! Join us!” Clover chirped a bright grin on his face.

Qrow grinned as well, “Yeah it’ll be fun!”

Oscar chuckled a bit remembering a conversation he had overheard Nora and Yang having, “Yeah, make lucky snowbird happen.” he muttered under his breath with a smirk.

Winter paused, almost seeming to contemplate the suggestion. 

“Ya know, you never gave us an answer Jimmy. You gonna join the dark side?” Qrow asked a teasing smirk on his face.

James let out a long tired sigh, “What have I got to lose at this point. I’ll join you but first I have to know. What kind of Ice cream do you have?”

“Mint chocolate chip.” Qrow and Clover immediately said. 

“Yaay.” James sarcastically cheered a bit of amusement seeping into his voice.

“Sir no! Don’t join the dark side! You’re better than that!” Winter cried out.

James chuckled, “I’m sorry Winter but it’s too late. The call of ice cream is too strong.”

Clover shot over to Winter and gave her his best puppy dog eyes, “Come on Winter, you gotta join us! Please!”

James was now sitting back with a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream that had appeared a smile on his face. He was becoming quite amused by the current events, his worry over the embarrassing picture having now dissipated.

“This is surprisingly good ice cream.” the General chuckled.

Oscar was now next to Clover and giving puppy dog eyes to Winter as well, “Pleeeeeease! You can get revenge on Weiss for everytime she annoyed you!”

“Or on Jacques! It would be so much fun!” Clover joined, giving Winter a thousand watt smile.

Winter paused once more thinking over the offer, she eventually sighed and said “Alright fine. I’ll join you, but I want ice cream as well.”

Qrow Clover and Oscar all cheered while Ironwood handed Winter a new bowl of ice cream.

“Welcome to the Black Mail Group!” Qrow beamed, throwing an arm around Winter's shoulder.

“The what?” she balked.

“It’s a work in progress!” Clover grinned, throwing his own arm over Winter's shoulders.

Qrow rescinded his arm from around Winter and placed his hands on his hips, “Yup! I decided it just now! We basically take embarrassing pictures of people and use them for blackmail!” 

“Is-is that legal?” Oscar asked with a small tilt of his head.

“Anything’s legal when the cops aren’t around!” Qrow said with a cocky grin.

Clover adopted a contemplative look, “Qrow, aren’t WE the cops?” as he said this he gestured to the other Atlesians in the room. 

Qrow paused for a moment before saying, “Well yeah, but you guys are cool cops. Cool cops that let cool guys like me get away with cool stuff.” 

Winter let out a sigh, “I don’t think this sets a very good example for Oscar.”

Said Oscar was currently perched at the edge of Ironwoods desk, eating his own bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream and swinging his legs.

Upon hearing Winter Oscar paused his eating and said, “I did help steal and Atlesian airship.”

“See!” Qrow shouted “He’s used to crime! I mean uh, cool stuff. Yeah cool stuff.”

Winter facepalmed with another long suffering sigh, “How are these children in your custody?”

“Qrow does have a point though,” James relented “I remember getting into a great deal of trouble at his age.”

Winter balked at the mere thought of the General having done such foolish things at any age.

“Oh my gods what did you do!” Clover asked, his eyes shining.

“Well I once set the old headmaster's office on fire.” James said, looking a bit embarrassed.

Qrow barked out a laugh, “Ha! I can’t believe it! You committed a crime! I’m so proud!”

“I think-I think I want to do more crime.” Oscar said shyly looking at the floor.

Clover whooped and lifted a startled Oscar onto an equally surprised Ironwoods shoulders, “Come on guys! The night is young! Let’s go do a crime!”

“Yeah!” Qrow cheered and began chanting “Crime! Crime! Crime!” 

Clover quickly joined in and pulled James and subsequently Oscar into the hall, followed by an exasperated Winter.

“What have I gotten myself into?” the specialist lamented.

Ironwood chuckled, “Crime...whoo hoo.”

“Crime! Crime! Crime! Crime!” Clover and Qrow continued to chant leading the odd parade they all formed.

“I regret my decision.” Winter said tiredly.

Oscar gripping the General's shoulders tightly muttered, “Help me.”

James only smiled as he reminisced on times gone by, “I’ve done way worse than the fire.”

“Please put me down.” Oscar mumbled his grip tightening slightly.

“Just enjoy the view Oscar, not all of us can be mountain men like Jimmy.” Qrow called over his shoulder.

“Wait,” Clover said halting the parade, “what was that about worse things than the fire?”

When Ironwood was silent Winter raised an eyebrow and hesitantly asked, “Sir?”

James cringed a bit, “Well….I may or may not have….vandalized the school.”

Clover burst out laughing, “Really? Oh my Gods! Hahahaha!”

Qrow began to dramatically sob, “I’m so proud!”

Oscar just wanted to be on the ground again, “I am slightly terrified right now.”

“I am as well Oscar, I am as well.” Winter said, shaking her head.

“Aw lighten up ice queen, we’re just havin a little fun.” Qrow chuckled having stopped his dramatic sobs.

Clover was still dying of laughter on the floor of the hallway and was unable to add to the conversation.

“So much glitter, so much soap, so much vandalism.” James muttered his face growing red as he remembered his teenage years, “I wonder if I ever framed someone.”

“Where have you been all my life?” Qrow cried out allowing himself to fall backwards into James’s arms like a swooning school girl.

“Is he alright?” Winter asked, looking with concern at the still laughing Clover.

“Why did I say I would do anything?” Oscar lamented putting his face in his hands.

“Sir! I just-you just! Hahahaha!” Clover wheezed as he tried and failed to get up from the floor.

“I’m going to go get the nurse.” Winter said quickly as she ran away.

“Coward!” Qrow shouted at her retreating form, “Ah well, more crime for us then right Jimmy?”

“Oh course, what did you have in mind?” James asked with a chuckle.

Oscar, his voice still muffled by his hands “I just want to go to bed.”

Qrow laughed, “How about we give Robyn and Jaques a little makeover. I’m thinking, neon orange hair for Robyn and neon pink for Jaques?”

Oscar perked up at the suggestion, “I want to sleep but that sounds like fun!”

“Well then, it’s agreed.” Ironwood grinned, “Clover we need you.”

Clover, still laughing, was finally able to get up, “Y-yes sir, hahaha.”

With that the four went off into the night laughing and dyeing the hair of all who opposed them. A secret that they will never tell another living soul, but will laugh about for years to come behind closed doors.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! If you have any requests or prompts for something you would like to see me write, then just comment below or send me and ask @collectingsoarechangemadeeasy on Tumblr! I only ask that it's RWBY related and SFW and I promise I'll get to it as soon as I can. have a lovely day you guys!


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